Advice from 48 Years of Marriage
Advice flows freely in this world and its hard to know who to listen to. There are many people giving advice on topics that they’ve never actually experienced, or worse they make up things that they THINK should work. I wanted to give some advice to new couples beginning their journey, but, well, I’ve not had many years of wedded bliss. Couples who have spent decades at each others side are hard to come by these days.
I thought about who I knew who had a long-term marriage, over 20 years. It’s a short list. I asked the first couple who came to mind, my parents! Married for close to 50 years, my mom gave these tips for keeping it together. They are deceptively simple. I’ll have to get my dad’s input next time!
Listen, hear and take them to heart. These are her words of wisdom for new couples starting out.
Here are 10 things that I personally have learned that hold your marriage intact.
1. Be true to your vows. Once you’re married, you do not cheat. Yes, flirting is cheating! No way, period.
2. Go to church together. Those who pray together stay together. I do believe this. All our friends who attend church together, are in fact together today.
2. Trust. You must trust your spouse and earn their trust.
3. Work together for your family, investments, friends, and future. Put your family first.
4. Encourage each other.
5. Be the first to apologize, after all, it’s either you or him, make it you.
6. Write love letters to each other, and send them. Leave notes in lunches, and special I love you’s hidden around. Make a date night out, if you have kids, hire a sitter. Make your spouse feel special, a special dinner, candles, make efforts to keep it alive.
7. Make your spouse feel special, a special dinner, candles, make efforts to keep it alive.
8. Find an activity to do together. Example: tennis, boating, swimming, hiking, yoga.
9. Read the same book and then talk about it. Have your own private book club.
10. Forgive. You must forgive almost daily. Never go to bed angry, NEVER! Remember what’s important. When you get angry, give yourself sometime, talk and FORGIVE.
OH! And one more thing….
11. Never, never, never have a loaded gun in the house!!!!
~Lorraine Anderson, married 48 years and holding
Thanks mom! All good advice, especially that extra one! Haha!