To teach non violence, we need to approach it with love and compassion, NOT counter violence.
Anyone acting out in anger and violence is hurt in some way. Be it recently or deep in the past. Sometimes it is in the ancestral past, long gone in physical form, but very present in energetic form. This energetic inheritance explains why sometimes violence seems to sprout from no where. Punishing by anger & violence will only escalate the problem and reinforce violence as way to behave. Perpetuating the action.
This is very difficult work. Mostly because to really be effective, one needs to dig deep inside themselves, find the burden that we have been passed from our ancestors, and begin to unpack it, analyze it and somehow find compassion and forgiveness for all of them and ourselves. Only then can we teach how to be non violent. It comes from within.
My child is very sensitive to being teased, his feelings get hurt when his pain is not acknowledged. I am that way as well. I speculate that his dad is as well. He and I both come from ancestors who have a created a great deal of havoc. It is up to us to stop it, within ourselves, and then gift this inner peace to our child. Not an easy task, but I believe a crucial one.
Change takes time. Growth takes time. Learning takes time. I know for myself, it has taken many years of violent interactions and self introspection to come to this place of peace where I am now. It is not easy, I work very hard to stay here. But it IS getting easier! Practice, practice, practice. Constant mental diligence.
Children are mirrors for our own behaviors. They reflect our ancestral heritage. And if we want them to act better, we must change in ourselves first. Knowing this doesn’t make it any less frustrating when faced with a sassy, hitting, 8 year old, intent on pushing all your buttons, who doesn’t listen. But when we come at this issue with compassion, knowing that our children have gotten all that same ancestral programing that WE have had to deal with, it is easier to give a hug and acknowledge their pain and frustration.
That alone can change everything. We all just want to be heard, seen and loved.
I work daily at taking my own advice. Not perfection, but progress.
I wish you many Blessings,